Due to a prior arrest, I'll be your host tonight. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the 47 st Annual "Sneaking Into An R-Rated Theater When You Told Your Parents You're Watching The Sonic Movie" Film Festival! I'm Michael Celani, and you might know me for directing such beloved sequels as Saturday the 14th and List 2: Schindler's Pissed.
The New York Times writes: "I was literally hypnotized by this film's visuals, and am now on trial for the murder of seven congressmen." The Vatican Chronicles raves: "God gave you two asscheeks and they're going to be glued to the seat for all five hours and forty-seven minutes." YouTube commenter keybladejack060504 writes "i can't believe they cast ezra miller for every role hype!!" You won't want to miss How To Make The Judge Cry II: Cleanup Crew. It's the inaction movie phenomenon of the season. it's the same man, there's one man, not three, I'm sorry if I. And one man will rise to free us all from their tyranny. In a world where corrupt judges rule the game of Magic: the Gathering with an iron fist, one man will rise to challenge them. Archelos, Lagoon Mystic | Illustrated by Dan Scott
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